You know you DO

Stupid fun question thingy…do it.

1. Favorite Smell?  

2. Last time you cried?  

3. What’s your fav pizza? 

4. Favorite flower?  

5. Do you like to cook?

6. Untie your shoes when taking them off? 

7. Roller coasters?

8. Favorite ice cream? 

9. Favorite past time? 

10. Shorts or jeans or capris? 

11. What are you listening to? 

12. Favorite Color? 

13. Tattoos?  

14. Piercing? 

15. Color of hair?  

16. Color of eyes? 

17. Favorite food to eat?

18. Favorite holiday? 

19. Beer or wine? 

20. Night owl or morning person? 

21. Favorite day of the week? 

22. Do you have a Nickname? 

23. Pictures on your wall? 

24.  Who do you miss the most?  

25. Favorite music? 
Let’s take a break from negativity & learn about each other. 🌎💖

Urge of 💘

First in a series

The memories we store are colored. I am sure that our views are tailored by exposure, modification and reinforcement. Strict behavior observation using cause and effect analysis do not fit all my curves. That system is very useful in some instances. 

I have realized in this fifth year of marriage separation that some realities are very inconsistent. The only reality I find to be true is mine. The reality I live in is what I picture, strive for, set my goals in and love. The strength of love in and of the world of personal experience cannot be minimized. 

As a young girl I can remember how the love of family manifested in my life. We lived in three generations most of my years under 30 and it made the depth of presence I needed as a lonely only possible. That statement is filled with my learned reality of self. My Mom and grandparents did so much for me. To my detriment they anticipated what I needed and laid the path simply by providing an answer. 

This wreath and that reality have a lot of connection. I love beauty. I love art. I love music. This wreath represents my view of beauty and art in so many ways. Art presents nature for our enhanced perception. 

Love does the same. Love presents life in ways that our enhanced perception often motivates compassionate response. Be available for love. 

Summer burns love into a scar

One day when the family had gathered there were maybe 10 folks around and I can remember Mom saying. Jane, I don’t know what happened to you in the 60s. Well, we know. It was that decade of love, experimentation and exploration. I had a partner, too. In the middle of that decade at a CYF youth gatthering our eyes met and I became an object of regard. No-one had prepped me for the role. I did not have girlfriend 101 under my belt. 

Things went well and badly. My Mom seems to have needed something from the young boys home and asked his mother to send him with it. This is a story I heard my husband often repeat. Now, we are separated and the mid 60s of age are very intense like the calendar dates 60s were then. We knew 50 years was a challenge and spoke of the goal less and less. We are 66 now.

The experiences we had in college were very different. I am sure we were connected by a mind meld and phone calls were frequent. We had lots of dates, updates and secret dates. I loved the idea of love and the action of being in love and giving back with what I comprehended as love.

College was satisfactory and I found his face appearing on pages that were history, science, biology or math. Where was that obsession coming from? Love gives you a single mindedness for the sake of a chance for the species. 1968, we graduated; 1972, we graduated and were already married; 1975, first daughter; 1977, graduated again; 1977, second daughter; 1979, real life and no more school. We lived and worked, we cried and discovered, we were broken and tried hard for happiness. 

We were workers, parents and children all ‘roled’ together. We rocked and rolled together, indeed. It was the 80s. We had the time of our lives and lost everything we had ever known. 

Just a few more years and the survival handbook for second lives will be published. 

Home for the Parkers 1979-1986

Learning anew

The phrase ‘learn something new or you die’ was a family saying. I have an active cognitive edge and my 10 years of boredom took a her heavy toll on my psyche, mind, body and spirit. A name given to me, yoda, by a friend has accompanied me for a long time. I bring up a smile with lifted eyes and thank her deeply when it comes across the marquee in my mind. 

Pet names, nicknames and friends’ names travel together for me. Now this thing I touched on about 10 years of boredom is my central theme here. I must not wander too far off. The 10 year theme does go back to the 50s with bubbles, great cars and lots of growing up. I clearly recall the ages of Jane and star touched relationships. I was a runner then, too, and would go to the corner and feel like it was the edge of my known world. 

Early on I learned to value life and avoided conflicts, til 14 years old, and ran instead. At present, I realize it could be my very personality. Oh, yes, Jane, she is a quick one and she knows a lot. She doesn’t stay long, however, a real good girl. If you know me to my guts you may know the secrets of being a runner. Tell me, what do you know? 

We were settled as a family, what did I know, Mom had a flower shop and Dad , a private general practitioner office. The great hamlet of Hamilton. That was about the size of my life, too. 

Those 10 years were filled with grandparents, family trips, the beach, friends, finding out about being a daughter and school, Mom and Dad were graduates of colleges and professionals. I did not know how different that makes life. 

Our little life was interrupted by death, taxes and a move to Plymouth NC.

We were now in Mom’s home base and life took off. I was 10. The school I entered was on Washington St, and I was in 5th grade. My mom’s best friend was my teacher. Whoa! So many more and much more of everything. Soon school was everyday and I was adding art, music, dancing and Girl Scouts. The progression happened and soon 6, 7, and 8 were done, too.

Memories from being a big, tall, girl do flood and I am sure they formed a whole lot of me. Upon entering Plymouth Hugh School the race for graduation started. It was speed, survival, comedy, cunning and cliques. Yes, that, too. The years from 64 til 70 were very dominated by progress, politics and driving. 

When we were all young there were so many choices. The folks who helped you through, in my mind, stand out like the cloud of witnesses referred to in Hebrews. We went to First Christian Church in Plymouth and I had great friends, teachers and leaders. Our teachers in high school were supportive and a few were not with it. We learned in lots of places, on lots of tracks and with lots of effort. 

June 1968 arrived and I had fallen in love with a guy and being a graduate. We were floating, bragging, working and playing. We went through that last home summer with many new learnings and experiences. Who can believe I was a wife 3 years later. 

It takes a fine tuned harmony to bring a child to a good tune and grow the child into a person in full form. The high marks of ages 10 and 20 seemed endless years and as I look back were simply a wink. More to come. 

Return of the star

Sheer lunacy is a favorite phrase of mine. The wax and wane of the moon in its phases has to affect all bloody things. Cold or warm. Maybe some inanimates even stir because of heat transfer as the available light changes. 

I know atronomic principles in very general terms. Watching the stars with an informed older coach I grew up to love the whole circulating mess. I accepted his shared premises and developed a few of mine. Through the years 12 to 21 I tested a few things. I felt the warmth of stars and the touch of the Sun and really jumped into a new galaxy called marriage. 

As a young couple we were producers and worked hard at merely reflecting principles that we had held tightly to make it that far. The yous melted and we became truly married. As water and ways of creation conbined our little star was born. That was sheer lunacy. Our whole nebula sprang to support and we were survivors of the great change. 

I learned that as we were growing our star was, too, and we moved on together. The year 1976 was a great one with the bicentennial, new baby and back in master’s level schoolwork. Calamity soon reared and we were beset by illness for my father. We went home hurriedly, took incompletes and reordered our lives.  

When the moon rose each evening and the star returned we knew God was among us. God walks with us everywhere. Be aware and enjoy the light. 

Rising

A morning can begin with many starts. How do you arise? I have a formula somewhat determined by small dog habits. The usual hours between 9 and noon are sometimes the neighborhood of peepers wide open.
The dogs scurry about up and down on and off and back and forth. Incredulous as I may seem they do give in for a sleep timer of 5 or 10 minutes, often.
Living in a retired frame of mind gives me quite an opportunity for variety in schedule and activity. I can surmise what I choose after a few days with a quck analysis of hair ornaments, stack of shoes by the door and receipts to be filed. My most often chosen activities have no printed receipts.
Those are usually most interesting and refreshing for the pups, too. We are outside at least 4 times a day. The last two weeks I suffered with a virus and they were very flexible. Love their hearts. We would stumble a walk around our “block,” maybe. Sometimes just uphill once and back in. These outings helped me get well. I learned alot these last days. The passage of days was anticipated, I had to get better.
Today, I arose, we freshened things a bit, I put lavender in my hair and the dogs and I walked.
A new day. A great

image

start. Glad to be closer to wellness. Thank you, Lord.

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